Christmas Compromises
by Matula
Summary: Christmas is a time for truth, but what will the truth bring Harry? HP/SS


**Disclaimer:** I'm still , not blond (unless you count a few years back when I had a very interesting hair-year, that's over now) neither am I british, hence I do not own the characters nor the Harry Potter universe.

**A/N: **Well, I'm not sure what to say about this one. It's slightly fluffy and as I said I'm not sure. I've been home-sick for the past week or so and this was an attempt to cheer myself up. I hope you enjoy this and merry Christmas!

It was two days until Christmas and Hogwarts was full of decorations in bright colors. Severus glared at a particularly brightly colored Santa figure dancing on the wall. How he hated Christmas. He walked quickly towards the dungeons and let out a sigh of relief when he entered his chambers and were free from the decorations. After removing his outer robes and waving his hand towards the fireplace to start a fire Severus sat down on the couch and closed his eyes. The sound of someone banging on his door caused him to jump in surprise and let out a string of curses as he walked towards the door.

"What?" Severus asked as he threw the door open. Outside was an equally furious looking Harry Potter, current Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, standing.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I want it back," Harry said in a low, but angry voice.

"I assure you that I haven't taken anything of yours. Now please leave."

Instead of leaving Harry entered the room and walked over to the fire. Silently he stood and stared into the dancing flames. Severus remained by the door and studied the younger mans back, waiting for him to speak.

"You took my heart and I want it back."

The voice was so low that Severus nearly missed the words. Harry turned around and Severus found himself staring into the emerald green eyes.

"Excuse me?" Severus couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You were patient and respectful and almost nice. I thought you were my friend. Then the war was over and you couldn't be bothered anymore. You went back to being the bastard you always were. You took my fucking heart." As he spoke Harry walked towards Severus. "I want it back." He was now standing only a couple of inches away from Severus, who were for once in his life speechless. After what seemed like an eternity, which in reality was no more than thirty seconds, Harry took a step back before walking out the door and leaving a very confused Severus behind.

For a few minutes after Harry's departure Severus stood frozen in his spot next to the door and stared with unseeing eyes in front of him, not sure of what had actually happened. Finally snapping out of his daze Severus went back to the couch and threw himself down on the soft cushions. Severus didn't want to think about Harry, he had very efficiently not thought about the young man for several years. Unfortunately, Harry had now made not thinking very difficult.

* * *

Harry finally lifted his head from the kitchen table at the Burrow and met Hermione's brown gaze.

"I'm not sure that telling the truth at Christmas is a very good idea," he said and dropped his forehead onto the worn surface of the table again.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have accused him of stealing your heart," Hermione carefully pointed out. "Perhaps you should have just told him that you love him and waited for a response."

"I hate it when you are reasonable" Harry muttered and glanced up at her. She smiled fondly down at her friend and walked around the table to give him a hug. "Maybe I should just give up. It's like being a child waiting on Santa Claus, an imagination that will only lead to disappointment," Harry mumbled into Hermione's brown hair.

"Stop being so melodramatic, it's Christmas. Anything can happen."

* * *

Later that night as he lay in Percy's old room staring at the ceiling Harry let his thoughts wander. Almost ten years ago he had watched Severus Snape kill Albus Dumbledore, and in his grief he had sworn to hate the man with even more intensity than before. He would revenge the headmaster and that meant the death of Severus Snape. However, Dumbledore had had other plans and arranged for some of his memories to be delivered to Harry after his death. Memories that showed the innocence of Severus Snape. The man had soon after showed up at the Orders Headquarters searching for a sanctuary to escape the Dark Lords wrath. Grudgingly Harry had agreed to let the Potions Master stay, still standing firm in his decision to hate the man despite his innocence. Harry spent little time at the Headquarters after Snape's arrival. With Ron and Hermione he searched for the Horcruxes and trained for the inevitable fight. While training Hermione had tried to persuade Harry into asking Snape for help, arguing that he had so much experience and knowledge. Stubborn as ever, Harry refused, claiming that they could do it alone. It took a Death Eater attack that left Ron severely injured for Harry to realize that they did need help. With Ron still on bed rest Harry had walked into the room that had been converted to a potions lab to reluctantly ask for help from the man he had sworn to hate. To his surprise Snape hadn't needed any persuasion. Training with Snape had led to arguing with Snape and arguing led to china being broken and doors slammed shut. Eventually all of the drama led to a reluctant agreement that a truce was necessary. The truce, after some time, led to a grudging respect of the other and this caused Snape to be more patient in his training. Snape's patience finally caused Harry to let go of his hatred. For the first time the two men finally saw the other for who they really were, and Potter and Snape slowly turned into Harry and Severus. After months of training and searching for the Horcruxes the final battle drew closer. Then one day a couple of months after his nineteenth birthday Harry had stood victorious before the dead body of what had once been Tom Riddle, a lonely, orphaned boy who had never known anything but pain. Looking down at the corps of his enemy Harry hadn't felt anything. He had been empty. Then a tall figure dressed in black strode up to him. Harry had turned and looked into the dark eyes of Severus Snape and when the Potions Master put a hand on his shoulder something inside Harry snapped. He had wrapped his arms around Severus and buried his face in Severus neck and cried. To Harry's surprise Severus picked him up with ease and carried him away from the battlefield. Severus apparated them to the Headquarters and walked up the stairs to Harry's room. All while Harry still had his face hidden and his tears were falling onto Severus neck and collar. He removed Harry's dirty clothes and eased him down onto the bed and pulled the covers over him. As Severus started to move away from the bed Harry had reached out and grasped his wrist.

"Don't leave me," he had whispered in a broken voice, and relief flooded him as Severus removed his outer robes and sat down on the edge of the bed. After what had seemed as a moment of hesitation Severus had also removed his shoes and laid down next to Harry. Then Severus had done something that surprised Harry more than anything else that had happened, he wrapped his arms around him and held Harry close. Harry had fallen asleep feeling safe. The next morning he was alone and Severus was gone. When Harry finally met Severus again the man was once again the evil professor that he had known at Hogwarts.

Harry sighed and turned onto his side. For a moment before he had fallen asleep after the battle he had believed that maybe faith had given him something that would make him happy. But Severus had walked away and now Harry had made a fool out of himself. All because Hermione had insisted that he should tell Severus, because it was Christmas and apparently someone had decided that Christmas was a time for truth-telling. Whoever that was Harry didn't like that person very much.

* * *

Back at Hogwarts Severus thoughts were similar to Harry's. Only he remembered the cold hand that had wrapped around his heart at the thought of Harry fighting in the battle, at the thought of Harry dying. Severus remembered the moment he realized that it was finally over. While fighting he had tried to keep an eye on Harry, as he took down the Death Eater he was fighting Severus saw out of the corner of his eye a bright white light erupting from Harry's wand and then the Dark Lord fell. When people started understanding what had happened the commotion was almost worse than during the battle itself. Death Eaters were now trying to escape while Order members and aurors doing their best to catch as many of the Dark Lords followers as possible. But Harry had only stood there, staring down at the body before him. When Severus had walked up to him he had turned and wrapped his arms around Severus and cried. At that moment all the walls around Severus heart had broken and he had picked Harry up and carried him away from the battlefield. He had taken Harry back to Grimmauld Place and put him in bed. He had been about to leave when Harry had asked him to stay. Not being able to say no to the young man Severus had laid down next to him and held him. When he was sure Harry was asleep he had kissed the famous scar and gently stroked the unruly hair. Severus had stayed with Harry until he heard the others getting back. Carefully, after kissing Harry one last time he had left the room and returned to his quarters at Hogwarts. After that day Severus had realized that he had to once again distance himself from Harry because it would hurt too much to be near him and he had done just that. Now, however, Severus wondered if it had been the right choice. Harry's visit had stirred it all up and given Severus hope he wasn't sure he liked having.

* * *

On the morning of Christmas Day Harry found himself sitting surrounded by members of the Weasly family in a sea of wrapping paper and boxes. The children were happily playing with their new toys and Molly had left for the kitchen with Fleur to prepare breakfast. Hermione walked up to Harry with a hand on her distended belly. He smiled as she sat down next to him.

"This just came for you." She held out a small box.

"Who's it from?" Harry eyed the box suspiciously.

"Open it and find out."

Harry opened the envelope and pulled out the note inside.

_Harry,_

_I'm sorry I can't give you your heart back.  
Please forgive me. I offer you mine in exchange._

Inside the box was a black stone heart lying on a velvet bed. Harry reached out and touched it. When his fingers connected with the cool surface an image like the one Healers used to examine the heart appeared above the stone.

"Is it an acceptable exchange?"

Harry looked up and met Severus dark gaze. He rose from the couch and walked up to the other man. When Harry stood right in front of him he put a hand on Severus chest, right over his heart.

"Yes."


End file.
